People around the globe are trying to deal with their emotions.
It’s part of the human condition.
Sadness. Fear. Shame. Hurt. Betrayal.
or just inexplicably…down…
For the purposes of our current discussion, the particular negative emotion you are feeling doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you understand that the next step is your decision, the ball is in your court. Yes, the tools for happiness are in your hands.
We all know that unresolved emotions never go away. Emotions are zombies that tend to hop out of their graves and start dancing around at the most inopportune times.
Ever have a car with transmission problems? Stuck in one gear?
That’s what indulging in one emotion is like – stuck in one, miserable gear.
Sure, nothing wrong with being sad, grieving, having a down day, but being stuck in that gear – voluntarily – is unhealthy.
We cannot choose to stay stuck in “pity party” or “emotionally indulgent” gear.
“I feel badly, therefore it must be someone else’s fault.”
Sound familiar?
Sometimes it is…or at least they were the person that sparked the flame of the negative emotion.
But often – well, most of the time – we’re the ones who stoke the fire and fan the flame of emotions like anger, unforgiveness, and resentment, right?
Yep. 🙁
You know that a wide array of elements impact our emotions – everything from what we eat to medications, sunshine, and sleep.
Don’t look to blame someone else every time you feel “off.” You and your choices may very well be at fault.
In his book, “The Mental Toughness Handbook,” Damon Zahariades says that mental toughness “involves our responses to our emotions.”
He asks, “What do we do when we feel frustrated? How do we deal with our anger and disappointment when life seems unfair to us?”
When it comes to physical pain, we understand the concept of responding to it as something that should not be happening. We see physical pain as a foreign invader that we must rid from our body.
We take action.
We even take extreme actions like amputations and tumor removal suguries.
But, in contrast, we tend to see emotions as a legitimate part of us – rather than something separate from the core of who we are.
Something that needs to be addressed.
So instead of talking about responding to our emotions (taking action against negative emotions), we think about “controlling” or “regulating” those negative emotions.
What do you want?
Do you want to “control” and “regulate” fear, anger, sadness, shame, etc. or do you want to banish these emotions from your kingdom every time they show their miserable, ugly faces?
It’s your choice.
Remember the “Whack a Mole” game?
That’s a perfect picture of responding to negative emotions instead of “regulating” or “controlling” them.
WHACK THEM!
Sure, they will reappear.
WHACK THEM AGAIN!!!
Don’t take negative emotions in as pets. They can’t be tamed, they can’t be “regulated,” and they can’t be “controlled.”
Let’s about practical and powerful tools for happiness and inner peace. Instead of ignoring your negative emotions, indulging in them, or indicting (blaming) someone else for your negative emotions, it’s important for you to see those negative emotions as something separate from yourself that you can respond to.
What you DO ABOUT your emotions is another discussion and varies from person to person. But our point today, is that you don’t have to be stuck in the downward swirl of “managing, controlling, or regulating” emotions as if they were some permanent part of you.
By realizing that emotions are something we can respond to – rather than succumb to – will empower us to take positive action against negative emotions. Apply the power tools of happiness and explore the results.
Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed the post, share the article with anyone you think needs it. Let’s also connect on Twitter, Linkedin, or Facebook.
Until next time, have a happy day.
* I cannot recommend every author or everything written in every book I mention in my blog. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, and where a person or book is right or makes a good point, I will give credit where credit is due.