In our society’s quest to throw out everything genteel and civilized in favor of individualism and “whatever you feel,” we’ve lost the collective expectation of graciousness toward our fellow man.
What do I mean by gracious?
I mean acting in a way that makes the other fellow feel comfortable, welcome, appreciated, and wanted in your company.
I was struck by the queen’s reception of President Biden and his wife earlier this week. (I’ll plug in the video below if you haven’t seen it.) The thing that hit me was not the pomp and circumstance, not the queen’s demeanor, nor the Queen’s Company First Battalion Grenadier Guards.
It was the music.
Under the queen’s direction, the First Battalion Grenadier Guards chose American songs to play for the American president’s arrival at Windsor Castle. I expected them to play the Star Spangled Banner and God Save the Queen. But I was surprised when I heard the strains of Shenandoah and the United States Armed Forces Medley on foreign soil.
The reason that stood out to me was that the queen was being gracious. Playing music that the leader of a visiting nation would recognize. Music that would make him feel at home and at ease in a foreign land.
No, the queen isn’t known for her happy, exuberant demeanor. But then again, she’s the queen, not the court jester. But still, when it comes to gracious civility, she hits her mark every time.
Here’s My Point
If you want to be happy, you’re going to have to work on the soft skill of graciousness. Part of feeling good about encounters with others is feeling good about how we treat them – how comfortable they feel in our presence.
I try to make a point of smiling and saying hello to as many people as I can.
If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.Sir Francis Bacon – English Philosopher and Statesman
If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.
The thing that’s totally foreign to me is when I smile and say “hello” and the other person looks through me or past me like I’m invisible.
They’re just “too cool for school” and obviously don’t have even a microsecond to flash a smile or say hello.
If you’re one of THOSE PEOPLE….STOP IT!!!
Why?
Because another human took time out of their day to acknowledge your existence – to acknowledge your value – to greet you with kindness.
So, no matter how busy you are, STOP, SMILE, and say “HELLO.”
Apparently their momma never taught them to be gracious – to be polite.
Custom is a mutable thing; yet we readily recognize the permanence of certain social values. Graciousness and courtesy are never old-fashioned.Emily Post
Custom is a mutable thing; yet we readily recognize the permanence of certain social values. Graciousness and courtesy are never old-fashioned.
Civilized expectations of conduct push us past our own selfishness and force us to engage with others in a way that is gracious. Graciousness forces us to put on a smile and deal with individuals as people of value – (not just obstacles to get by so we can get on with our day).
Without this civility, we might as well be a pack of wild dogs roaming the earth and tearing at each other over imagined slights and scraps of meat – because we soon might be.
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Until next time, have a happy day!
* I cannot recommend every author or everything written in every book I mention in my blog. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, and where a person or book is right or makes a good point, I will give credit where credit is due.