Elanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
The distance between where you are now and what you really want in life is the distance between your two ears. Fear is housed in our mind, and our mind is hardwired to protect us – even from ourselves.
Sometimes that’s good…but often, it holds us back.
If our brain perceives that something might be painful – or even uncomfortable – it sends up warning flares in the form of fear. The more we listen to the brain’s irrational fear messaging, the less and less risk we are willing to take in life. – Even if it’s a risk that we SHOULD be taking.
“We do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain.”Ralph Waldo Emmerson
“We do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain.”
Yes. It makes sense to listen to your brain when it tells you not to do a faceplant into your BBQ grill. (I just know you’ve been wanting to try it.)
You see, sometimes your brain is right.
Here are the general rules for when to listen to your fears.
Generally, the fears that hold you back from being happy are not associated with danger to your physical well-being or harm to others. Most often the fears that keep you from reaching your full potential have to do with feelings of inadequacy and the worry that you – or your attempts at whatever you are considering – will be rejected by others.
But if you’re going to choose happiness and fulfillment over fear, you’re going to have to take the advice of Nike and JUST DO IT.
It’s scary to ignore the red warning flares of our brains when they tell us that we will fail, others will laugh, and that we’ll never recover from our attempt to better ourselves or our situation.
That’s what keeps so many people from following their passion – writing the next great American novel, speaking in front of people, singing at an open mic night, or even something as simple as choosing bright-colored clothing in a world of drab blacks, greys, and blues.
We don’t want to fail. We don’t want to be mocked. We don’t want to experience anything negative.
So…we never attempt to do anything positive.
There is no such thing as perfection. There will always be something about your painting, your song, your speech, your event that will draw fire from the little critic that resides in each of the 7 billion people on this earth.
Take a chance anyway.
Push fear aside anyway.
Would you rather experience no danger or live with the disappointment and regret of never having tried?
That’s where the fallacy of thinking comes into play.
You’re in danger whether you step out and overcome fear or whether you sit in your LazyBoy for the rest of your life.
People are going to talk about you and criticize you whether you sit on the sidelines or get into the game. Sitting on the sidelines doesn’t help you sidestep the scorn of others. Instead, they just criticize you for not hitting the playing field.
No matter what you do, people will talk. Might as well be pursuing your craft, your art, your goals and give them something to talk about.
Fear is your brain telling you that it cannot guarantee the outcome of a specific course of action.
Fear, at its essence, is uncertainty.
How am I going to do it?
How will others respond?
Will I like it?
What if everything goes wrong?
What you have to ask yourself is this.
What’s the very worst that could happen?
So, you paint a mural, and every third person that walks by doesn’t like it. – So? You’ve made 66% of the people happy…and you’re happy too.
So you sing in public and someone writes something negative on social media. – So? That means 99% either enjoyed or tolerated your song.
You get up to speak at an event, can’t remember a thing you were going to say and totally bomb. So? You’ve learned that you need to get yourself some 3×5 cards and have a few notes for the next speaking opportunity.
Even in the worst-case scenario, you can:
In Julius Caesar, Act 2 Scene 2, Shakespeare writes this bit of dialogue between Calphurnia and Caesar.
Calphurnia:
O Caesar! These things are beyond all use, And I do fear them…
Caesar:
Cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste of death but once. Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, it seems to me most strange that men should fear (death), seeing that death – a necessary end – will come when it will come.
You may get booed. You may get criticized. You may flop. You may have rotten tomatoes thrown at your head. 🙂
But it’s unlikely that you’re going to die.
So, kick fear in the face. Push uncertainty aside and at least TRY.
Until next time, have a happy day.
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